To understand how I have been feeling lately, you should first watch this video. It is a piece of performance poetry written AND performed by one of my favourite Youtubers, Dottie.
Take 3 minutes to watch, and then come back and read some more.
I was lucky enough to be raised by parents who empowered me and made me feel that my opinions, thoughts, and feelings were important. Not everyone was raised this way, and I understand how lucky I am to have grown up with so many strong, powerful female role models.
At this point, you're probably asking yourself what this has to do with the video that I demanded you watch before you read more of what I have to say. I'll tell you.
Every time I come home for a holiday or visit after I've been away at college for a while, I find myself being asked OVER and OVER again by all manner of relatives and non-relatives, "So are you dating anyone?" "Is there a special someone in your life?" "Have you found your college sweetheart yet?"
While I understand that love is a human experience and that it's something that once we've experienced, we want to share with others, I want to share a thought.
I am not spending nearly $100,000 and staying up all night writing papers to fall in love.
I did not move to another city to fall in love.
I am not spending the time that I am at school pining for someone to love me.
I am not majoring in falling in love and getting married.
I have been in love twice in my life, and for an 18 year old girl, I consider myself lucky for that. Both of those experiences were like nothing that has ever happened to me before. And I look forward to finding that again one day because I enjoy the feeling of loving and being loved. But my journey in life is not solely about finding love.
Dottie says in her video, "What we weren't told is that we don't need another human to carry our fragile bones as we scale mountains - that we are stronger than armies. All I want is to walk the rivers of this earth with my favourite person by my side - not because I need them, but because I want them next to me as I reach for another branch."
I am a whole person. I am complete on my own. My journey in life is not about finding true love. It is not about getting married and settling down. It is about skidding onto the runway with worn out landing gear and thinking to myself "Man, that was some ride."
If I find true love on my journey, that's an added bonus, and I'll keep you posted.
But like Dottie says
"When you get lost in the wilderness you are instructed to climb the nearest tree in search for a sign of humanity. In my young mind, I know the aim of my climb isn't to find another person. It's to see the view."
So far, I love the view. And I'm nowhere near finished climbing.
