I. Am. Pathetic.

Woah.. Some title for an entry in the "I Can't Get Over My Stupid Ex-Boyfriend" chronicles, huh? Yeah.. That's a thing. We'll talk about that in another post.

So back to the reason behind the title of this post. There seems to be this ideal that is fed to teenage girls (and women in general) that says:

"To get over your stupid ex, eliminate all signs of them in your life. Sever communication with them and friends you made/had as a couple. Delete them from your life entirely and it won't be a problem. You'll move on in no time. No biggy. Whatever."

WRONG.

I tried getting rid of everything! His t-shirt, his headphones, the texts on my phone from him, the couple of phone messages that I had left of him telling me he missed me and saying "Remember. I really really like you." He said that a lot, you know. "No matter what else, remember that I really like you." or "Hey beautiful girl, remember that I really like you." 

Please excuse me while I reminisce for a moment.

Okay. I'm finished. I tried to get rid of everything. (keep in mind that when I say I got rid of everything, it means that I put it in a box in my closet. I know. I'm bad at hard things.) Okay.  So I got all of his things back out because I was worse off without his stuff than I was with it. It has been a month since all of this happened, which leads to why I'm pathetic.

Ready for this?

I don't think you are.

Oh well. I'm going to tell you anyway.

I STILL SLEEP IN HIS SHIRT.

Boom. There it is. The cold, hard truth. That is why I am pathetic. It's not that I don't WANT to get over it. I do! There is nothing I want more than to sit down with him as one of my good friends again. 

So my question to you, my lovely readers, is this:

What helps you move on after a bad breakup?

Do you eat a gallon of your favorite ice cream? Do you watch Gilmore Girls and cry like a little girl while you watch Rory and Dean be in love? Or are you like me and you just wear your ex's t-shirt to bed and feel all twist and upside-down inside? TELL ME. I am willing to try ANYTHING. We can work through it together.

-Nikki

ps. If you ever need someone to talk to, my email is listed here. I'm here if you need someone to listen.

Men with beards are hot and attractive people intimidate me.

I'm not going to lie to you and say that I'm not a terminally awkward, strongly opinionated, oftentimes unenthusiastic, antisocial, cynical, grudge-holding but surprisingly forgiving optimistic realist who gets too involved too quickly, because I totally am. I'm also the neediest independent person you will ever encounter. 

This is me. 

Now that we're acquainted, here are a few things you should know about me accompanied by pictures:

1. I think men with beards are incredibly attractive.

 that beard.

just.. oh my god.

2. On this blog, I will occasionally admire a beautiful woman. No, I am not gay. I just know how to appreciate beautiful people like:

miss Emma Watson

3. I swear. I try to do it tastefully, but sometimes, the best word to use is a curse word. I'll do my best to substitute with other words. But I can make no promises.

or... um... bologna sandwich...? I don't know.

4. I am incredibly intimidated by friendly people who are also  good looking. Whether or not you are intimidating, if you are attractive and friendly,it's going to take me some time to get used to the fact that you want to be my friend. No lie. When I met the girl who is now one of my best friends, I was TERRIFIED to try and be her friend because, get this, she was cute and she wanted to be my friend! I'm not an introvert by an means. But I'm not good at making friends.

5. I get too involved. Don't mind me giving you unsolicited life advice.. I'll be done in just a moment.

6. I support equality 110%. Marriage has somehow come to be politically associated with Christianity. However, Muslims marry, Jews marry, Atheists marry, Buddhists marry. Why not homosexuals? Because the Bible says that marriage is between a man and a woman? The Bible also gives implicit directions about how to properly trade your daughter for livestock. Yikes. Not to mention the fact that our nation was founded on a blatant and straightforward separation of church and state. I'm happy to discuss this with you. You can email me here if you'd like to talk about it.

7. I'm going to do my best to be 100% honest with you, my readers, at all times. No fluff, no lies. If you ask, I'll do my best to deliver the most honest, no nonsense (okay maybe some nonsense. have you met me?) answer possible.

So there it is. That's all the information I'm going to give you for now. As we're together longer, you'll get to know me better. And I hope I'll get to know you better too! Until you hear from me again, smile at lots of people, give someone an expected hug, and make your mom proud.

-Nikki